Norman Ralph

The second week of January is upon us and it seems my diary is filling up faster than I could ever have imagined. I have developed a very bad habit in recent years of making big plans and not really following through with them, with perhaps the exception of the trip to Europe I did last year.

To try and counter that, I am going to post up the things I have planned right now so that I will hopefully see them through. It will also remind me to blog about the events and give me a lot more to say in my review of 2011, rather than the the relatively dismal look back at 2010.

The first major highlight of 2011 I have already organised is a trip to opening night at Opera North’s production of Carmen with my friend Aislin. I really love the opera and have only really started up going to see them again since I met Aislin. It is really cool to have a friend that likes some of the more obscure hobbies that interest me like opera and ballet etc.

Carmen was a natural choice for me to go and see as it is one of my favourites. I have seen a couple of productions of it, although both times were amateur ones, so will be great to see a professional performance.

I am hoping to squeeze in a few more operas this year too following the success of Turn of the Screw last year and what I am sure is going to be an epic experience at Carmen. It will also be my very first opening night!

Next up is a trip to Langdale with some of my family. Langdale is one of my favourite places int he whole world despite its relatively unglamorous reputation in comparison to the rest of the Lake District. For me though, the valley has everything I could possible want from a remote, relaxing holiday destination. It is quite simply a stunning part of the country, a long glacial valley with a few vllages spread out along the valley floor and walled by soe impressive hills. The valley is home to three of my top 5 Lake District pubs, the Old and New Dungeon Ghyll hotels and the Wainwright Inn.

February also sees Andrew’s stag night, which will be an interesting experience as it will be my first ever stag do. Andrew is getting married in Jamaica in March which i can’t afford to attend, so it is my intention to make sure he gets a fantastic send off! Whilst I am talking about Andy, I should probably plug his great football blog that is probably his one true love (sorry Laura).

I have two trips abroad planned for April this year. The first is to go an see a band I really like play live in Dublin. Josh Ritter is doing a few dates in Europe as part of his tour and Dublin was the cheapest place to go and see him play. The other two cities he is doing in British Isles are Edinburgh and London and at the moment, both of those places are more expensive to get to and stay over in than Dublin. So look out Emerald Isle, I am coming for a party.

I plan to head over to Dublin on a Thursday and stay until Sunday, hopefully getting in a tour of the Guinness brewery as well as maybe seeing some of the sights and sounds of one of Europe’s capital cities.

The second trip in April is a little more ambitious. I hope to go and visit a friend of mine who is currently working for the British government in New York City. I am hoping to get out there for a week or so around Easter time to take advantage of the bank holidays (meaning I have to take less annual leave from work). I have never been to the Big Apple before, other than layovers at the airports there. I am not usually a city fan and prefer countryside and remoteness over the hustle and bustle of one of the world’s most populous conurbations. However, it is one of those cities that is everyone’s must visit list and that includes me. I want to be able to say I have see Time square, visited central park and been up the Empire State building.

I am going in April so that I have a chance of catching a ball game at Yankee stadium but I haven’t actually checked the schedules to see if this is going to be possible.

Following that is not going to be easy, but I have plans to go on holiday to Malta at the start of summer with my mum. Normally I would never consider Malta as a holiday destination, but on seeing the photos and stories my mum and auntie told when they visited the island a couple of years ago I was instantly sold on the idea. Malta has a rich history, perhaps best known for its role in the second world war where the nation and its people were awarded the George Cross for resisting the axis powers.

June sees the long awaited marriage of two good friends of mine, Bryony and Chris. They have been together for over five years and I don’t think anyone could imagine them not getting married. The ceremony is taking place at Lincoln Cathedral and I have the honour of being one of the ushers. I have been to quite a few weddings over the years, but this will be my first as a participant (of sorts) and the first of my generation of friends. Technically Laura and Andrew get married earlier, but as they will be in Jamaica and I will be in Leeds I don’t think it counts.

The final plans for 2011 are less entrenched than those above. I want to try and get back to Venice in the Autumn as I had such a fantastic time there last year and would love to spend a few more days there, perhaps an extended weekend. I aim to also spend more time in my role on the management board of the AHS as I feel that the next 18-24 months for the organisation could be key to its continued success.

…and not soon enough if you aks me!

I am not a fan of Christmas. Not only do I dislike the modern festival, complete with three month build up and ridiculous commercialism, but I hate the fact that a “Christian” festival has been nationalised and rammed down our throats to such an extent that every body feels the need to suddenly pretend to be pious and religous! Seriosuly, I know muslims that celebrate Christmas! What the hell is that about?

Christmas is a Christian festival that was created in the 19th centurty when the Catholic Church decreed that the eponymous midwinter festival was now officially a celebration of the birth of Jesus (who almost certainly was not born in December, never mind the 25th!). For most of the rest of that century nobody really gave a monkey, until the Victorians started making something of the festival. The majority of the traditions we now associate with Christmas, the tree, the decorations, the food etc was all started in the latter half of the 1800s by the middle and upper classes of Victorian England and hence the rest of the Empire.

I am not a Christian, so I do not ‘celebrate’ Christmas. I, like many other non-Christians, partake in the festivities surrounding the tradition but I do not hold it sacred in any way and would have no qualms about selecting any arbitrary day to celebrate family, togetherness and peace to all men. These are not Christian ideals, all of these ideas were celebrated for hundreds of years before Christianity and will continue to be celebrated for hundreds of years after Christianity. I just wish everybody would accept that Christmas, as it exists today, has nothing to do with Jesus. We shouldn’t all be forced to take time off work and we should not be subjected to the nationalising of a religious holiday to the point of causing offence to every non-Christian. If I were a Muslim, Sikh, Jew etc I would be similarly outraged.

The fact I am an atheist means I am also outraged at the increasing nationalisation of Eid, Ramadam, Hannukah, Diwahli etc.

It occurred to me not so long ago that i hadn’t been on an actual real-life holiday since June 2005 when I went to Spain for a week. This is simply bad form.

This revelation led me to organise a short break to the Lake District with Liz last week. We were away for a week and it was a week well spent. I realise that I should have been at lectures and doing coursework but it is a sacrifice I would not hesitate to make again!

We had planned to be in the Lakes all week, but due to an issue with the kennels Liz and I had to stay in Kirkham for a couple of days to dog sit for my mother. At first I thought it would be a bit of a waste of time but it was actually quite relaxing to just chill out at home for a bit, especially since my mum had redecorated my room with new bed, new carpets etc etc.

We headed up to the Lakes on the Wendesday and spent a glorious few days basking in the miserable northern weather I should point out here that I love the Lake District, especially in Winter. I like the rain and wind and snow. We did some walking, some shopping and some general mooching – not to mention Liz’s FOUR jacuzzi baths!!

We were staying at the Langdale Estate ina lovely little chalet. I really love that part of the Lakes with its accessible walking and lively (relatively…) atmosphere.

More importantly I got new walking boots!

The Christmas festivities are over, the New Year hangovers have subsided and 2008 is nearly a week old. This seems like the perfect opportunity to take a look back at 2007 and the people, events and ideas that made it.

Christmas and New Year are always a time for reflection and nostalgia and this year was no different. My family was all together for the first time in a while, including some of the new additions. I had an enjoyable time with several highlights – firstly, I caught up with some old friends and relived some of those moments from my youth that I miss. I also had a good time Christmas Day as I actually felt part of the family for the first time in many years. The end of December was also a good time for me, I spent it with Liz and her family and really felt accepted.

Anyway, back to my review of the year.

January
January was an interesting month, fisrt it saw the blossoming of a new friendship, one that would lead to something quite special – although i didn’t know that at the time of course. This month saw the final plans for the new academic year’s housing plans and all the arguments that surrounded that decision. This is probably the time that I cemented my friendship with a number of people whom I now consider my closest allies.

January’s exam period was hard for me, not just for the obvious reasons, but because it saw the dawning in my mind that I had lost my passion in Materials Engineering, that the course was no longer the inspiration I required. I began to toy with the idea of leaving university, or at least changing course.

February
I don’t remember much of February apart from starting at McDonald’s and buying a new car. I also went to Langdale in the Lake District with my mum.

March
March was an interesting month, I saw Barenaked Ladies in concert in Leeds which was amazing, visited Sarann in the Lakes and most importantly I started this blog.

April
Now here is the definition of a rollercoaster ride. I reached some of the lowest points of my life but also touched some of the highest highs. I ran Rationalist Week, spent a week in a self-destructive spiral of drinking, partying and depression, I met a girl and fell in love.

May
May was a busy month. Liz and my relationship went from strength to strength, went to see Soweto Kinch and The Who live in concert and Blackpool won in the League One play-offs and got themselves promoted to the Championship.

June
Festivals were the order of the day/month for June. I went to Sunrise and Farmyard Party to work in a chip van with Sarann. I had a great time but it meant not seeing Liz for a lot of the month – the first real test for our relationship. I think we ended up stronger than ever! Chris ended up in hospital with a serious bout of appendicitis and I spent a lot of time helping Matt sort out his car.

July
July was quite boring compared to the surrounding months.I went to Workhouse in Wales, had minor computing issues and moved in with my new housemates – Sarann, Michelle, B and Chris.

August
Always a quiet month, with uni still a month away and the excitement of breaking up long since faded away. I spent most of the month taking stock and seeing what was what in my life. I did go to Solfest, however, which was definitely a personal highlight of the year!

September
I made only seven blog posts in September, which gives a good indication of how little I did. I did start a new course at university though and turned twenty-three – which also explains the lack of blogging! The combination of Fresher’s week and birthday celebrations will do that to a man.

October
A difficult month for me. A lot of things happened in my private life that left me somewhat adrift. I did get a new computer though, which is always nice!

November
November saw things pick up a bit with the A-Soc London trip, Atheist Week and the discovery of the Lancashire Hotpots! London was worth all the effort that I put into it, it turned out better than anyone had predicted and nothing really bad happened. Liz and I went from strength to strength and I even managed to find time to do some uni work!

December
A month of WoW and family. Not a lot to report on really, except what is already included at the top of this post. It was a good festive period all in all. I think it set me up for 2008 quite nicely.

I guess that the Almighty wopuld eventually punish me for my infidelity, heresy and down right disbelieving nature evntually. The last week has seen His vengeance in full and glorious Technicolour and Dolby Digital Surround Sound!! It’s almost enough to convert even the hardiest atheist to a religious fanatic. The timing was just too bad to be coincidental.

Now, in case you are worrying that I have gained my faith I can assure you this is just a temprary lapse. I can see why people are religious now, it is amazingly useful to have someone to blame…

It all started a week or so ago whilst I was watching the baseball blue riband event, the Major Leage Baseball World Series, a best-of-seven series of games between the winners of the two professional North American baseball leagues – the National and American Leagues – between the Boston Red Sox and the Colorado Rockies. Game one is a big event, so I was staying up to watch Five’s live coverage of it. During the seventh inning stretch I was popping downstairs to fetch a drink when I missed the bottom step and went over on my ankle After a prolonged trip to A&E I was diagnosed with torn ligaments in my left ankle. After a little wait I left equipped with crutches and a bag of pain killers. It has been a while since I last had to use crutches and the skill required to use them seems to have evaded me. I seem to spend more time on the floor with the crutches than without!

The worse thing about injuring my ankle was the fact that it prevented me from driving, which kind of messed up my weekend plans. Firstly, arrived on Thursday for a quick visit and I was supposed to be driving her home and then on the Sunday i was supposed to be attending a family Christening in Northwich, Cheshire and then on the following Tuesday I had planned to visit Liz in Lincoln! In the end then I had to call my mother and have her drive to Leeds, pick Liz and I up on the Friday and drop Liz off at the train station then take me home to Kirkham. After a rather lazy Saturday we attended the Christening of Isabel Emma, my cousin Helen’s baby. I probbaly wouldn’t have attended this Christening under normal circumstances – I am really not a bug fan of the Catholic way of indoctrinating babies and their families – but it was the first time that my entire family had got together for over a decade. By the end of the day we were only missing three members! This is remarkable as half my family live in New Zealand!

Tuesday saw my mum and I rise at 3.30am so we could drive the 150 miles from Kirkham to Potterhanworth so as to arrve in time to pick liz up and get her to Lincoln for 8.30. It is a long time since I have experienced a day that seemed to last so long. Due to a number of circumstances it was a really tough dayto start with, add to that the fact that I was awake for a good twenty-odd hours and that I had barely slept the night before and you can picture the scene. Anyway, the day went without too many hitches and we all made it home safely, which I guess is the main thing. Many thanks to my Mum for her help and dedication to the cause!

As an aside, Tuesday also saw the first meeting of Liz’s parents and my mother. I think it went ok, although not the ebst circumstances to be honest. Hopefully they got on ok and don’t want to kill each other just yet.

Anyway, as you have just read it has been an eventful week to say the least and an insightful one as well.

As I am sure many of you are aware my life has been in somewhat of a state of flux recently. New housemates, new girlfriend, new friends, new job, new starts, new found enjoyment of life etc etc all add up to something resembling upheaval in my life. I am not generally one for getting too flustered by most things, in fact it is often pointed out as a personality flaw that I tend to not to publicly experience highs or lows.

Well, I thought I would take a few moments and take some sort of stock of where I am at the moment and what I think of a few things.

I will start with my domestic situation. It has come to my attention that I tend to play quite a downer on my family, particularly my parents and that is something that does not accurately reflect my current relationships with both my mother and my father. My mother is a proverbial god send. I do not know where I would be without her. We do not agree on everything and we have been known to have some rather passionate disagreements over the years. I will say though, that we are probably as close now as we have ever been. She is my confidant and the one I seem to turn too when things are hard. I realise that she does tend to only see the worse side of me when we get together, but then I do seem to only turn to her when I am at a loss and cannot fathom any other solution. Anyway, thanks for everything you have done and probably will do over the next few years!

My father is a different matter altogether. He has been absent since I was very young and hence I have never really experienced a father-son relationship with him. To be honest, it was never something that I felt was necessary, not until I moved to Leeds and started to look at my life and try to make some head or tails of it. Since then it has been something of a rollercoaster, with a lot of downs along the way. At the moment though, there seems to be something amiss as we have barely spoken (through no lack of trying on my part) for a a few months now.

Now, onto the good news. Liz and I are flourishing. I think it is safe to say that the initial honey moon period is probably over and yet we are still as strong as ever. Which is always a good sign. I know I have a habit of jumping into these things with both feet, but I feel that if something is worth doing and caring about then its worth doing properly and with all of your heart. It brings to mind one of my favoured quotations, although the name of the quoter escapes me temporarily….”Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.” It always manages to instill me with a sense of duty and inspiration to go out and achieve whatever it is I am aiming for. In summary then, I am in love.

The current friends situation is also quite rosy with no great fallings out going on or any on the horizon. I am probably not paying enough attention to all my friends across the country, but I think I am doing OK. As mentioned previously, I have found a new level of relationship with many of the people I know. Namely, Si and George. Mine and Sarann’s relationship also seems to be going from strength to strength at the moment. I am really loving living with her. I think the closeness of our working relationship over the Summer has really helped and done a massive favour for our personal relationship. I now consider her one of my very closest friends. Otherwise a lot of my friendships are as steady as they ever were and I am still loving my new housemates! It’s turning out to be a lot of fun!

I have been reading a lot this Summer, mainly around atheism and related topics. I am hoping to really get my teeth into running A-Soc this year as Secretary. I’m looking forward to taking a more active role within union politics too. I have a lot to say about a lot of things, not just religion based, although that is my area of knowledge at the moment, and I definitely feel I have a future in politics. I realise that my relatively right wing attitude can often be construed as unhelpful and unproductive in a student environment, but I feel that a lot of my ideas are fairly central and often liberal in nature. I am very much a centre-right thinking person. With traditionally conservative views on crime, punishment, immigration and capitalism. Although my views on families, homosexuality and religion are particularly liberal in stance.

In other news, I am looking forward to Solfest in August, going to prague with Liz for my birthday and the start of the new term. I can’t wait to see how my rediscovered zest for life will be transferred to my work and study environment.

Roll on the rest of Summer!

Twenty English pounds to be exact, which is more like forty US dollars, but then the saying is definitely less pithy when written “Another day, another forty US dollars”.

Anyway, I digress.

Yes, so I finished my last session helping the strive for neuro-physiological and -psychological advancement which earned me a nice crisp (well it’s actually well worn to be honest, but you get the picture) twenty pound note. Which is nice. Couple that together with the £35 my Dad has just put into my bank account I am veritably rich. I say rich, but it basically means I can afford to go home to scrounge in person from my Mum rather than on the telephone. I always find scrounging always benefits from the personal touch

I really wish I wasn’t in this position, I would love to be able to stand on my own two feet financially. However, bad decisions pre-university have cost me my ability to be fiscally independent. Even worse is the fact that my funding for next year is still up in the air, I have yet to hear whether I am going to receive any student support for the next year or so – really leaves me in a quandry as I cannot afford to fund my own learning and I am not really in a position to leave university all together. I am sure things will sort themselves out eventually, it is a government department after all so they are firm believers in “better late than never”.

Having arrived back from Sunrise on Monday, I had a day or so to recover before going to meet Liz in Lincoln and then us driving across to Kirkham to visit my mother, the first time that Liz and her will meet. This is quite a scary prospect as I have not introduced my mum to any of my girlfriends since Becky (not that I have had any serious ones, but I introduced Becky to my mum over eight years ago) so I was a bit apprehensive and Liz was actually scared.

Liz was supposed to be working until 9pm on Wednesday, so I had planned to head over about 7ish to avoid the worse of the traffic and take my time, before heading the 200 miles home. In the end Liz managed to wangle her shifts around so that she finished at 4 instead. This meant I could drive over during the afternoon grab some food with liz’s grandparents then amble back to Kirkham, getting in for 9ish rather than after midnight!

On arrival in Kirkham I introduced my mum to Liz and we sat down and had a cup of tea. Liz was really shy and didn’t really speak much which was totally understandable. Mum was really nice to Liz too, not really going OTT, which was one of my worst fears. We ended up crashing fairly early as I had driven 300 miles, Liz had been at work since 7am and my mum had had a long day too. Mum had put us in separate rooms, Liz in mine and me in my borther’s room. When I had been arranging the weekend with my mum we had never really discussed sleeping arrangements – just a difficult subject to broach really – but I wasn’t going to push the issue anyway. For as long as I can remember my mother has had a fairly static policy on the subject and I decided that this wasn’t the time to circumvent it.

Thursday was a really nice day, didn’t really do that much – got up, had lunch, went to pub to watch the cricket then headed out to dinner with my mum. We ended up at an “eat as much as you like” Chinese restaurant in Preston, which I really like as they do unlimited Peking duck and BBQ spare ribs to die for! Liz was a bit overwhelmed with the experience I think, she isn’t a great eater at the best of times, especially when she is a little nervous or self-conscious.

On our return from the restaurant we sat down and watched a film, Jack and Sarah, which is a really nice couple film. Unfortunately I had developed a really bad headache so had to go to bed fairly early again. Liz was amazing and looked after me and basically made me feel better. She is good like that.

Friday was a busy day. We headed over to St. Anne’s to visit Lindsey who has recently given birth to a little girl. I am not usually a baby person but when I was sat there with Lucinda Faith in my arms I could actually see myself with a family one day. That was a mild reaction compared to Liz’s. I think she actually considered getting pregnant there and then!

We left Lindsey’s after an hour or so and headed to Freeport in Fleetwood as I needed some bits and bats and I wanted to drive the length of the Fylde Coast from St. Anne’s to Fleetwood to show Liz Blackpool and my old haunts. I am not sure she was overly excited about the whole thing, but at least she has an idea of my past now.

I cooked dinner on Friday and then my mum sat Liz down and spent the evening (over four hours) showing her photographs of me, David and a few other things – ranging from baby photos to holiday snaps to school shots. I think even my mum got bored by the end!

Liz and I headed back to Leeds on Saturday morning as it was Kirkham Club Day so had to move my car before 9am. We drove back along the A59 as we were not in a rush, we had nothing to do until kieran’s BBQ at 3pm.

I think it was an amazingly successful few days. I think my mum and Liz get on quite well and I really hope they approve of each other. It was nice actually spending time with Liz in a domestic setting too. As much as I love my house in Leeds it isn’t very homely, or private!

You may have noticed that I have not blogged in a few days, that is down to the fact I have been running round the country like a headless chicken generally procrastinationg from doing any work of any kind.

I headed home to Kirkham on Tuesday to pick some stuff up ready for the festivals I will be working at over the summer. I also combined it with visiting my Mum, who I have not really seen properly in ages and also seeing Lindsey, an old friend. Lindsey is nine months pregnant and was due on Thursday – still no baby! We went to the pub for a couple of hours and i got to feel the baby! I have never felt one before it was born before and it was definitely a wierd experience, though I now feel a certain attachment to the little thing, which is probably not that unusual as Lindsey and I have always had a kind of father/daughter relationship. We met about eight years ago at my friend Jon’s 17th birthday party, she was fifteen. She used to come out with us to the pub etc quite a lot and although she weas occasionally a bit of a handful I developed quite a close relationship with her. I have not seen her in ages and was really good to catch up. I would just like to add a quick “Good Luck” to you, Lindsey and all the best for the baby!

Thursday saw me drive over to Lincoln from Kirkham to see Liz. Liz’s grandparents are away on holiday and liz is not the most domesticated person in the whole world so I was going mainly to make sure she ate, tidied, did the washing etc, but also because I missed her – I hadn’t see her in four days, which is a long time for us! I met up with her and Edd in Lincoln as they had been shopping then we headed back to Liz’s for some tea. We ended up driving back into lincoln to Edd’s house so we could go to pound a pint night at Scream on the waterfront. It turned into a really glood night, we all got nicely drunk. Liz fell in a bush and we ended up crashing at Edd’s/ Very funny night all round.

Friday was seriously chilled out. After heading back to Potter’, we had lots of tea and Liz napped whilst I did all the domestic stuff like the washing up and a couple of washing loads. We set off back to Leeds for B’s birthday at about 8pm. On arrival we stuck a DVD on and went to bed, the last day or two catching up with us.

Saturday was Bryony’s 21st. Her mum and auntie’s had invited Liz and I to her birthday dinner (Liz and B are childhood friends) at Bellini’s in Adel. It was a really nice dinner and a good opportunity to meet a lot of B’s family. The guestlist included B and Chris, her mum, dad and little brother Joseph, three of her auntie’s – Elaine, Carol and one I can’t remember and Liz and I. After dinner (which was delicious!) we were invited back to Elaine’s house in Menston – which is miles away. We had some tea and a good chat, the kind that you get at these kind of events and then headed home about 7pm.

We picked up some party food and a little drink and headed back to B’s with Chris to have a little birthday party. It was nice for us all to be friends again, although some of the conversation topics were quite scary. Wedding rings, engagement rings, joint holidays and family homes were discussed! Oddly enough it felt fairly ok to talk about this stuff, I think there is a future for the two couples!

After B threw us out for some sleep, Liz and I had intended to go out with Sophie et al in town, but when we got home we were too tired, so put a film on and eventually crashed out with pizza and coke.

All in all it has been an exciting week but hardly productive. I really need to get some work done, both professionally and for some of the projects I’m involved in. I think i’m going to be in Lincoln pretty much all next week so hopefully I will get some done without the distractions of the big city. As lovely as Potter’ is, it is not exactly the liveliest plaxce on Earth!

Thursday saw me head home for Easter weekend, a chance to see my mum and catch up with a couple of friends. It was also Michelle’s sister’s last full day in Leeds so we made a few plans.

A few of us met up at lunchtime to head into town for some lunch. We decided on Little Tokyo, a Japanese place. I have always heard good things about it but have never managed to get down there and try it out. The prices were a little scary but it was the holidays so I chose a “box meal” and a side of sushi. I have never had sushi before as I am not a massive seafood kind of guy. I was hugely surprised to find that I am actually quite partial to it. The portions were really good sizes and really filled me up. The menu was excellent – a really good mix of dishes and some real imagination in the titles and descriptions! The meal was rounded off nicely with a desert served in a bowl made of ice!!